Phoebe’s unlimited units of affection
From left: Phoebe, Gidget & Squirt (who sits in judgement - as usual)
Before Ruby, there was Gidget… And before Gidget there was Phoebe. Phoebe was God’s finest canine creation.
When did I go from being my dog’s master to being her “Daddy?”
There is something odd and uncomfortable hearing Sue tell the dog to “Go ask Daddy” when she is begging for a treat of some sort. That would be the dog begging – not Sue. (Not going to happen. Not ever.)
As for the long-term impact upon my children of being repeatedly asked to take their sister for a walk, this will likely only be fully appreciated after private explorations between them and their respective therapists.
Before Ruby came along, ours was a two-dog household: Phoebe, a black Lab mix of 14 years and her uhmm… sister, Gidget, a miniature schnauzer mixed with shih tzu and Lhasa apso. (Or as my father-in-law understood when his hearing aids were turned off: A miniature-schnauzer-shitsthrough a collapsible-asshole – sometimes I think I’d prefer to live in his world. Crass, but more fun.)
Both Phoebe and Gidget recently moved on to chase rabbits in the sky.
Gidget was rescued from a puppy mill and following her adoption spent the first two weeks in our home growling from within the familiar safety (and odour?) of my laundry basket. Her social skills remained stunted throughout her life – as she reserved her trust and love for only one soul – that of my wife.
I have been accused of being far too Cartesian in this analysis, but I firmly believe that each of us has a limited amount of affection that we are able to provide others. Some clearly have greater inventories – but no human has a bottomless pit of love.
I have crudely developed a method of measuring and categorizing this affection and broken it down into what I like to call Units of Affection or UA’s. Not to get into all the numbers, but I estimated that Gidget was soaking up a good 80 to 85% of Sue’s UA’s. As Gidget aged, I admit to fantasizing about one day picking up at least a portion of these freed-up UA’s upon her departure.
You must understand, Sue has a comparatively deep reserve of UA’s – but the bond between her and Gidget was all consuming. Sue’s focus on that dog was like CNN’s coverage of a celebrity murder trial. Her first thoughts in the morning and last thoughts at night were about Gidget. As for me, I refused to see Gidget as a daughter. She was a rival. To make matters worse, and in spite of her pea-sized brain, Gidget was able to sense my resentfulness and regularly mocked me in Sue’s absence.
Phoebe, on the other hand, was the world’s greatest dog. Not for anything she did, because frankly, she did next to nothing. It was more because of her worldview. Phoebe was the ever-loving Buddha of dogs. Unlike humans, she had unlimited UA’s – and gave them freely to all she met. Talk about taking time to smell the roses… Phoebe took the time to smell them and everything else. Her faith in the goodness of God’s creation was proven as she waded into each rancid pond. Step on Phoebe’s paw – and she apologized to you!
Phoebe was the ever-loving Buddha of dogs - notice Squirt the cat in background - once again passing judgement
It was Phoebe’s endless affection that helped Sue through Gidget’s passing… and when Phoebe left this mortal coil, she continued to give - because that’s all she knew. Her final moments were expressions of love and stoicism.
As for those freed-up UA’s… well let’s just say that, much to my dismay, they were redirected towards a collection of rescue dog web sites… volunteering at the SPCA… and alas - the arrival of the high-maintenance, insecure Ruby to consume the Units of Affection that I naively thought to be mine. (Always adopt – never purchase a dog at a pet store.)
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